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Sunday, May 8
California... knows how to party...

    ... that is "we know how to party, going 28 mph in the fast lane"... anyone that was thinking about moving to california, let me save you the trouble by stating a few facts... if afterwards, you still want to live here, then i wish you the best of luck in not shooting yourself in the head a few years from now...

#1). Traffic

    There has to be something that attracts people to live in california... it couldn't be the fact that we can't smoke anywhere but inside a self-contained plastic bag in the basements of our own homes... it couldn't be the great food that we receive from trendy places like Jamba Juice, Panda Express, or the billions of Starbucks... and it sure as fuck isn't the overcrowding...

    I went to an angels baseball game yesterday in Anaheim (which is now owned by Los Angeles - don't even fuckin get me started on that), < rap > and what does a nigga see?.. tree beeyon mutha fuckas starin at me... where we be goin?.. nowhere fast... betta be somewhere, or i pull out ma gat...< /rap >... man i could make a million off of that line alone with a base rhythm and some gold teef... where the fuck was i?....

    Oh right... fuck traffic.. check this shit out:



    ... and if you can't tell what you're looking at through the haze of dead butterflies and smeared bird shit on my window, here is a zazazoooooooomed in view of da pic yo:



#2). Trends

    People out here are so fuckin insecure, they will dedicate their lives trying to change what others think about them... if they're a guy, they drive a raised F-350, an H2, or some 'Fast 'n Furious' wannabe bullshit... if they're rich, they drive an Escalade, a Navigator, an Expedition / Excursion (same fuckin thing)... if they're a woman, they drive an SUV (nissan, lexus, honda, mercedes, etc.)... all this so they could 'fit in'... what ever happened to driving cuz it was fun, or being who you wanted to be?... not giving a fuck about what other people think and living for yourself is called originality... there is no such thing as originality out here, only "oh my god what is he doing?... i'm am sooooooo gonna do that too"... fuck people...

#3). The weather

    I understand why people initially want to come here, and that's for "the beautiful weather that we have here all year long"... well, let me save you the suspense.. there is no fuckin thing unless you live in san diego... and guess what?.. it rains, it gets windy and it gets cold there too!.. THE FUCK YOU SAY HARRY!!...

#4). There's so much to do!

    Having shit to do is relative... everyone i have ever met has complained that their hometown has nothing to do, and that they wanted to go somewhere else because "its more fun over there"... guess what you ignorant fucks... it's always more fun to visit somewhere than to live there... some of the most fun times that i have ever had in my entire life were due to the fact that there was nothing to do... that's when people get creative and entertain themselves in anyway possible... so let me be on the record by saying, "there's nothing to do where i live... there's nothing but ___ and ___ here, and it would only be cool if it were ____"... sound famliar at all?...

#5). You're close to the mountains and the beach

    That's correct, we are close... however, unless you're a beach or slope bunny, its a novelty that is experienced once in a blue moon... i have lived here for over 25 years in various southern californian cities, and i have been to the mountains, maybe, 5 times... and the beach, roughly the same... i think the reason is, if i go to the beach, i will turn blacker than night... i take alot of night classes, and i don't want to be counted absent... however, it's there, but unless you have a reason to go all the time, who gives a fuck about that its there? (other than using the fact for bragging rights)...

#6). Cost of Living

    There have only been only two places that i found more expensive to live in, other than California, and that's Hawaii and New York City... and if you even closely compare the three places, you were either dropped on the head alot when you were a baby or you did alot of drugs in your day... no other place (aside the afore mentioned) could you spend over $1200 on a 12ft x 12ft studio apartment in a shitty area and be HAPPY!.. what the fuck?!?.. my head is going to explode...!

#7). You have great wine (Napa, Sanoma)

    Yes.

#8). You are the technological capital

    I assume you're referring to Silicon Valley and the vast technology that's found in the Bay Area (San Francisco)... that is correct, but if you move here for that (other than a job related to said field), i think you should worry about getting out of your parents basement first... the first step is the hardest... Live Long and Prosper!... oh, let me know how Episode III is btw....

#9). Hot women

    Yes, that is a fact... we do have some hot women out here... BUT... we have our fair share of FUGLY fuckers too... in fact, i would put the ugly : hot ones in a 350:1 ratio.. (unless of course you're in san diego, where i would put it at a 45:1)... the hottest women that i have seen, in order:

    1). North Carolina - chappel hill... fuck man, you guys rock..

    2). Florida - Tampa Bay / Miami.... all i can say is "FUUUUUUUUCK"....

    3). California - San Diego... of course

Short answer: live in San Diego or don't waste your fuckin time...
.... and this has been a Community Service Advertisement from Sachz Inc.

-Harry J. Sachz

  Owner, Sachz Inc.
 

Posted at 9:21 pm by Sachz
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Saturday, May 7
Noozgroopage

    Well.... it's been a while now, and i continually get questions about how the fuck do you use newsgroups... well, i put together a .nfo file explaining the basic how to's, so i can reference them to fjdkld nevermind.. read the fuckin thing if you have questions....

Right Click the image, and select 'save as'....



    ... and with any .nfo file, read it with Damn Nfo Viewer

-Harry J. Sachz
  Information Expert, Sachz Inc.
 

Posted at 1:13 am by Sachz
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Wednesday, April 27
Fashizzle



-Harry J. Sachz
  Salam A. Lakim
 

Posted at 7:12 pm by Sachz
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oh sniz to da nizzap fadizzle mizzle pizzle gajizzle



-Harry J. Sachz
  Tree Swinga, Sachz Inc.
 

Posted at 6:34 pm by Sachz
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Monday, April 4
I grew a second vagina

    (wonder what the blogdrive will change the title to)... YES, it's another day!!.. Another day to waste on my fat ass doing work on my computer... spent so much god damn time on here, i think i'm going nuckin futs... if it wasn't for my boring ass college classes and the occasional drinking binges (and the massive casino winnings), i'd become a raging alcoholic / superhero... anyhow, i wanted to post my pretty new computers that i recently fucked with... lemme know what you think :)....



   
As you could probably tell, i wrapped my power cables with a blue mesh and threw some 4" blue cold cathodes to light up the work of art...



    Probably hard to tell, but the black case is the terrabyte server, and the silver is the 'gaming' pc...

    Anyhow, i'm a happy man, so no complaints about how fuckin stupid people are today... i'll wait until after tomorrow evening... until then :D

-Harry J. Sachz
  Happy Fucker, Sachz Inc.
 

Posted at 10:45 pm by Sachz
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Thursday, March 17
I got a raise!

    Since I've been fired from over 3 jobs in the past 2 weeks, I recently started robbing record stores to make my living... however, with the extra cash, I purchase stupid shit... for instance...


    You haven't lived until you see him dance to the tune of "B-I-N-G-O"... email me if you want an MP3 download of it...

- Harry J. Walken
  Lockpicker, Sachz Inc.
 

Posted at 4:40 pm by Sachz
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Saturday, March 12
european pics by brutha man

    My buddy built a webpage (with little to zero experience) at www.aebous-cajun.com... the purpose behind it was showing everyone his photos of his travels to Italy, Germany, Switzerland, etc... I felt it would be a nice gesture if I were to rebuild it... so tell me what you think :)

It's located @ sachz.servebeer.com/matt

- Harry J. Sachz
  Internet Dude, Sachz Inc.
 

Posted at 5:28 pm by Sachz
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Tuesday, March 8
I'm deeply touched, on a level I can't describe...

    From great writers such as Poe and Hemingway, the world has been transformed... They write of pain, fear, love, hurt, disgust, honor, and respect in ways that have changed people's lives forever... It's simply amazing that we have kept up a standard such as this with lyrics found in recent popular songs...

    I think I almost cried after listening to this song performed by Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliot....

"Work It"

DJ, please pick up your phone
I'm on the request line


This is a Missy Elliott one-time exclusive (Come on)


Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it [backwards 2X]


If you got a big ***, let me search it
And find out how hard I gotta work ya
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it [backwards 2X]


I'd like to get to know ya so I could show ya
Put the p**** on ya like I told ya
Gimme all your numbers so I could phone ya
Your girl actin' stank then call me over
Not on the bed, lay me on your sofa
Phone before you come, I need to shave my chocha
You do or you don't or you will or won't ya
Go downtown and eat it like a vulture
See my hips and my tips, don't ya
See my a** and my lips, don't ya
Lost a few pounds and my waist for ya
This the kinda beat that go ra-ta-ta
Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta
Sex me so good I say blah-blah-blah
Work it, I need a glass of water
Boy, oh, boy, it's good to know ya


Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it [backwards 2X]


If you got a big ***, let me search it
And find out how hard I gotta work ya
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it [backwards 2X]
(Come on)


If you a fly gal get your nails done
Get a pedicure, get your hair did
Boy, lift it up, let's make a toast-a
Let's get drunk, that's gon' bring us closer
Don't I look like a Halle Berry poster
See the Belvedere playin' tricks on ya
Girlfriend wanna be like me, never
You won't find a b**** that's even better
I make you hot as Las Vegas weather
Listen up close while I take it backwards
I'm not a prostitute, but I could give you what you want
I love your braids and your mouth full of floss
Love the way my a** go bum-bum-bum-bum
Keep your eyes on my bum-bum-bum-bum-bum
And think you can handle this gadong-a-dong-dong
Take my thong off and my a** go vroom
Cut the lights off so you see what I could do


Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it [backwards 2X]


If you got a big ***, let me search it
And find out how hard I gotta work ya
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it [backwards 2X]
(Come on)


Boys, boys, all type of boys
Black, white, Puerto Rican, Chinese boys
Why-thai,-thai-o-toy-o-thai-thai
Rock-thai,-thai-o-toy-o-thai-thai
Girl, girl, get that cash
If it's 9 to 5 or shakin' your a**
Ain't no shame, ladies do your thang
Just make sure you ahead of the game
Just 'cause I got a lot of fame supa
Prince couldn't get me change my name papa
Kunta Kinte a slave again, no sir
Picture black sayin', "Oh, yes a master"
Picture Lil' Kim dating a pastor
Minute man and Big Red can out last ya
Who is the best, I don't have to ask ya
When I come out you won't even matter
Why you act dumb like "Uh, duh"
So you act dumb like "Uh, duh"
As the drummer boy go ba-rom-pop-pom-pom
Give you some-some-some of this Cinnabun


Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it [backwards 2X]


If you got a big ***, let me search it
And find out how hard I gotta work ya
I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it [backwards 2X]
(Come on)


To my fellas
I like the way you work that
To my ladies
You sure know how to work that


    I'm gonna go get a tissue... and they say today's music doesn't say anything....

-Harry "Felony" Sachz
  Rap 'artist', Sachz Inc.
 

Posted at 12:17 pm by Sachz
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Saturday, February 12
Children are so Innocent

    As always, I enjoy hearing from our readers... when possible I like to put their responses on our site to show everyone... little 9 year old Katie has touched my heart in such a way, that I felt it necessary to put her comments up as today's post....


Click to see full sized view

    Here is the enclosed picture:


Click to see full sized view

    Isn't that the cutest thing you've every seen?.. see? that just touched my heart in ways that I can't explain... anyhow, I know that it's only Saturday night, but I'm going to start getting ready for church now... until I see you extra special people again!!

-Harry J. Sachz
  Pastor, Sachz Inc.

*UPDATE*

    When browsing though the Bible like I usually do on saturday nights (trying to avoid tempation like a good Christian man), I came across some hidden codes that struck me as interesting:

    Genesis 19:4 20th word is...
"Sex"
    Genesis 1:11 20th word is...
"with"
    Deuteronomy 23:13 17th word...
"a"
    Genesis 25:24 13th word...
"boys"
    Deuteronomy 23:13 18th word...
"hole"
    Genesis 21:12 25th word...
"is"
    Genesis 6:22 4th word...
"just"
    Genesis 4:7 6th word...
"right"

    Maybe it's nothing.. but I'll definately keep my eyes out for anything odd with my new found religion...
 

Posted at 4:52 pm by Sachz
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Hey KIDS!!! It's Lambert!!!

    Figured it was about time to post Page 2... don't want to keep all you SUPER DUPER KIDS in suspense.... Now you guys do your mommy and daddy proud now, and color in Lambert's Adventure to Church!!!


Click for Full Size Coloring Pages!!!


    My SUPER DUPER 5 year old better be fucking coloring right now... OR I'LL FUCKIN KILL HIM... YOU HEAR ME SCOTT!!!

    Don't forget to visit our pal Lambert's site with the link on the left!!!

-Harry J. Sachz
  Public Relations, Sachz Inc.
 

Posted at 1:37 pm by Sachz
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